I can relate to this. I have found this perfect woman for me and I can't sleep at night because I see her sleep and all I can think about is how much she puts up with my moodiness. I want nothing more to make sure I NEVER betray her forgiveness and understanding but I always seem to. I am confident she knows that it isn't personal, that I just get so anxious and worked up sometimes that I become irrational. But, she carries so much at times with me being disabled, unemployed and living on a tiny SS check each month. I have been blessed with a new home that needs a lot of work and she and my step-daughter have a place but I still feel like they could do so much better then me sometimes. I wish I were more balanced sometimes. I wish I had advice but all I can do is tell you are not alone.