I mean that when we work in therapy on ourselves and our deeper issues, its usually the relationships with other people that are the more "advanced" issues. We can move forward into relationships and those issues once we have done enough work on oursleves to move outward to other people. That has been my experience, too. That although I was in and out of relationships while I was doing a lot of inner work, once I did enough inner work (though far from a finished product!!!!) on me did my relationship to someone else become the therapy issue. And sex....that is moving forward, too. I did not start out working on sex and intimacy with another person....I had to reach a point where I felt strong enough to deal with all of that. And comfortable enough with myself to believe I have this or that issue and it is OK. That is a big deal.

But I go back and forth. I am working on me and abuse issues and how I was treated as a child while I work on things with my husband and kids. Sometimes its hard to work on me me me and then come home and have to deal with him us him us him us.