I am sorry you have had to deal with so much.
I don't think anyone can tell you HOW you should be feeling. I know what I would do. been there myself. I would go to her. It would give her a chance to say "I'm sorry". there is always a chance hon. of course she might not either. mine did not but I have heard of many others that did. go with what your heart is telling you. only you can decide. I can also tell you losing a parent that was bad to you all your life without an apology stinks. I am here if you need to talk hon.