This is such an interesting issue. Im wondering if it isnt really a matter of balance, but more of uncovering the fears of being engulfed or abandoned. It may be that the fears of being engulfed (as I imagine it would be for me) would be a fear of not having a worthy enough, secure enough, strong enough (the list could go) self. Or maybe an issue with boundaries. Maybe this person can/will cross my boundary and I will be be defenseless against it? How do I establish boundaries in relationhsips?

Just some thoughts....Ive had to deal with this, too and SO can relate to it.