sannah, yes because intimacy to me meant engulfment, but now i see it i don,t think i,ll be so afraid now, plus i wob't keep beating a dead horse with others who are also not able to be intimate. Theres a woman I work with where this issue is mainly at...i feel totally engulfed when i'm with her but was afraid to upset her bt putting my needs first, ie not have to listen to her gabbling on about her all the way through lunc