About the woman at work. Why not try, when she comes up for air, get some sentences in there about you. Not just two words, but maybe a thought and see if she is interested enough to go back and forth with you. You may be surprised, or you may see she is so absorbed in herself that she has no interest in talking about you only about her. In that case, you know she is someone you can have this limited relationship with. And you dont even have to throw the baby out with the bathwater. She may be interesting at lunch and she probably can go briefly to other subjects.

She might be a good person to do some experimenting with.