Larry, I would say seperating yourself from a dependency on a relationship is needed to find out who you are. Once I had a PSR worker that I told about my Catholic support group about chastity for gay men. He told me I would be married to a woman in seven years. I was insulted and got over that. I am pretty sure about being gay, but I understand that normal male friendship helps increase the liklihood of not having an unhealthy attraction or like someone said secretive sex. My energy is spent now on independence, financial and emotional.