Whats going on with me, i have been so good, no down spells no crying spells nothing. i have been happy. Yesterday I woke up feeling worthless and sad. I had no energy and when i got to work my coworkers even noticed the difference in my personality. I was grumpy and mad and felt like the world sucks. I took longer to do my work cause these stupid thoughts kept going through my head. Now today i woke up cheerful and excited for work. I did great. Then as the day progressed on i started getting less happy and less energetic. Now i feel like i could just go to sleep and never wake up. I have not missed any doses. Right now i am thinking what a waste of time this life i lead is. I just want to curl up and Die. I have no clue why i feel this way. I think about how i am actually liked at work and how great its going there and i wonder why i feel this way? why? I have everything going for me, even the lights stay green for me on the road. My car is not acting bad, my pets are healthy, i just got paid, and went to the fair with my new friends. what is there to be sad about. seriously this is frustrating. I wish this would end. I wish this demon called depression would just leave me alone. Why was I cursed with this demon. Why? What did i do? Im jsut so down. Good thing im too tired to do anything else. I think about hurting myself but the urge is gone and frankly i dont think i could get the urge to do it. I mean i been cut free for one month why end it.

This is just sooooo not fair. Sorry for this long post i just need to vent.