((((Miss))) Im sorry you had to endure all of that. How sad and then scary what you went through as a teen. Im sorry.

I cant say I know a real lot about emdr, but I have read about it and read the posts here that talk about people's experiences with it. I am also not inclined to do it. Im sure it is very healing and helps with trauma, I have a fear that what would come up might overwhelm me during the week.

When it comes to trauma, and I am not sure if this relates to the topic, I know there are things that caused me to behave and feel the way I do, and I have an intuitive sense about the ages when these things/feelings occurred but not clear enough memories. Very bried flashes of memories, or feeling memories. A flash of suddenly feeling safer alone watching the light come in through the blinds of a window and casting a shadows on the ceiling. But feeling uneasy at that time, too. Feeling not safe and not comfortable and wanting to get away. Is that a memory? I dont know. I think it relates to trauma, but I could not tell you why. It could even have been a pre-verbal moment. This is where I sense my healing needs to go, I havent got a clue as to how to go there or where I would be going. I dont think that kind of thing is for EMDR, is it? Isnt EMDR for memories or feelings we can talk about or understand? Or maybe I just dont know what I am talking about.