Oh, zoo You remind me so much of me!

My mind used to spin and spin and spin worrying about T getting rid of me. I was sure he was going to refer me and that was going to be that. He truly spent the first 18 months of my therapy (at least) having to reassure me constantly "I'm not going to refer you"....he had to tell me so much, that he started telling me without me even asking. At the end of voice mails, he would just throw it in "blah blah blah..and I'm not going to refer you"

It sounds like T is following a guideline that is in place for this exact situation. That is what she has to do. I love that she invited you to call tomorrow at the same time...to me, it sounds like she is saying "I have to follow this rule, but I am still here for you. Call me as soon as the 24 hours are up".

I wonder if when you talk to her, you could tell her about what you are afraid of? I don't know if T saying "I'm not going to refer you" helped me that much...I think I had to experience being with him through a lot of stuff and not being referred to REALLY believe it...but it did feel better that the scary thought was out in the open where we could talk about it. It definitely took away some of it's power. Things can get SO BIG AND SCARY when I keep them in my head.

I'm glad you posted, zoo