Hi everyone. Just wanted to see if people feel what I'm feeling.
I'm not confused about what I have, I know I have a deep depression.
I've been struggling it with it for about 9 years now.
But my depression now is definitely the worst thus far.
I have completely isolated myself to the point where I left all my family and friends and moved to California with my sister.

Why??? Because I am so ASHAMED of myself that I cannot even face the people that I care about and also do not want to burden them with my problem. Even living with my sister is hard because I am so ashamed of myself that I don't even want to see them. But it's better than living back at home where there are so many other people I would have to avoid. I am so lonely and tired. I know I need to get professional help, but I don't even have a job so have no means to get help. I don't know what else to do, I am coming to an end. I can't even reach out to anyone anymore, even to God...