Was wondering what are some of everyone's favourite quotes? (both serious and funny ones )

Here are some of the serious/inspirational quotes I like:

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take,
but by the moments that take our breath away."

"Don't frown because you never know who is falling in love with your smile."

"Yesterday is history. Tommorrow is a mystery. And today? Today is a gift that's why they call it the present."

"If everyone took an eye for an eye, then the whole world would be blind"

"Dance like no one is watching. Sing like no one is listening. Love like you've never been hurt and live like it's heaven on Earth."
— Mark Twain

And now for some of the funny quotes I like:

"A wise man never plays leap frog with a unicorn"

"If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you"

"a smile is a sign of joy, a hug is a sign of love, a laugh is a sign of happiness and a friend like me...well...that's a sign of good taste. ;-)

"Face it.. some days you're the pigeon.. other days you're the statue"

And I know this technically isn't a famous quote, but this one line from Jerry Seinfeld's comedy act always cracks me up! I don't remember exactly if this is correct word for word, but it went something like this:

"What is it with all these laundry detergent commercials.. they say they'll get out all your stains.. grass stains, wine stains and blood stains even. I'm sorry, but if my shirt is covered in blood, I don't think that laundry is going to be my biggest concern right now!" LOL love it!

Anyone else have any good quotes they want to share?