(((((((((((((((Black))))))))))))))))))

First I wanted to say welcome because I dont think I have ever met you before here. I know that your not a "newbie" but I havent seen you around so...Hello.

I know what you mean about "Why was I cursed with this demon called Depression?". Its a hard thing to deal with at times. Taking medications on a daily basis and always being aware of your thoughts, feelings and stuff can get very overwhelming. Being so "aware" can drive a person Batty (excuse the pun). Sometimes people DX'd with depression are allowed to have a down day. Even those people who I will call the "normal ones" have down days. The thing is, we with depression will not accept it as just a down day. We read more into it then that. I think once we can truely come to terms that depression is a part of us and accept that there will be times when we will be "up" and there will be times when we will be "down".

Please try not to be so hard on yourself. You may want to start writing down some positives so you can refer back to them for re-assurance when needed. Just try to relax a little. Try not to search every corner of your brain to look for an explanation for your mood. Just know that you are in control of it. IT is NOT in control of you.

I dont know if your seeing a therapist or not, but you may want to give him or her a call if you think that may help you. Also, keep posting here. Vent as much as you want or need. We are here to help you in anyway we can.

I hope the new day finds you well. Take care and please keep us posted.

Jen