Pat,

Yes, I think this thread is a great idea.....love it cause it will keep me honest (for a change). I have so many things going on it's hard to know where to start.....This week is off a little because my riding trainer just got married Fri night & she is off enjoying their honeymoon this week, so training starts again next Saturday. Have a glitch in my training also cause my 26 yr old ended up lame at the last show I tried to show at & had to withdraw both tests. I will be using him less & starting training at a much lower level with my 4 year old. I am hoping to sell my 4 year old soon & buy a new 3/4 level dressage horse to take over until Izzy is trained. But riding daily is my first goal. I took off 3 days & lost a lot of what I had....who would think that would happen in just 3 days.

Second goal this week is to get into contact with my horses chiropractor to make an appointment time for my older horse & Izzy. He works on the riders after he is done with the horses.....all part of the appointment is that he adjusts your horse & you. He comes here from Orange County which is several hours away.

Third goal is to get in touch with the dressage trainer that lives in Bishop Ca, & one that lives in Reno Nevada. I want to arrange a time to watch them teach & try to take a lesson from each one along with getting to know their philosophy about horses to see if it matches my needs. Then I can look into available ranch property around them once I make arrangements regarding the horses.

Forth goal......to turn in the information to my divorce lawyer that is needed to get it started....found this so overwhelming that I ended up with a massive anxiety attack. It was supposed to be turned in last week but had to get the time extended cause it is hard to get 30 years of information together that quickly.

Fifth goal is to take one of my eskies (Celia) in to be spayed on Tuesday morning....I accomplished my goal to get financial support for the spaying this weekend....had to bite my toung with pet assistance...if they weren't willing to help I would have hung up on them.....very rude & I don't need that kind of crap when dealing with anxiety anyway.

Sixth goal is to take a couple of my dogs down to my Mothers home & go through 1/2 of the back bedroom......sorting out give away/throw away/keep......this is the hardest goal cause I have big problems going back into that house where all the ID theft & threats happened......every little sound makes me jump. Besides, I need to keep my mind filled with other thoughts so I don't let all the things that happened there flood into my mind. It is so easy to let those 5 days take over & relive those horrible experiences again.

I'm going to try to get a chance while I am down there to visit my friend. Her husband was a good friend of mine in college. He died of cancer just over a year ago. She & I get along really great & have had a chance to support each other with our family dying of cancer. We are usually so busy with our lives that it is hard to find a free time to get together.

Last but not least goal......my psychologist appointment since she was on vacation last week......I have been having a really hard time lately & need to discuss a lot of things that are going on inside of me. The anxiety attacks have been horrible lately even though I have had to keep going anyway....& there must me some depression lurking iaround cause I just couldn't get myself out of bed on Saturday....(no I didn't have a hangover from the wedding.....didn't drink more than 1/2 glass of champagne). Part of this goal is to work on some issues I started working on over a month ago......& may be able to finish it up while down at my Mothers house......since it is a letter to her.....being in the house brings up those thoughts anyway.

I think this is enough for 1 week...& is will probably overflow into the next week if necessary. I'm exhausted just thinking about this week.

It seems like everything ends up in a huge fight which doesn't do much for my anxiety or depression. I really thought I had it together better than I do but guess that is why it's called reoccurant (depression/anxiety).....It sneeks up & bites you when you aren't looking. I do find when I have a responsibilities to focus on (or as you have set up here GOALS), then I am less likely to let it take over.

Thank you for this wonderful idea for all of us to get involved with here.....this is most helpful to put our minds onto things we commit to do & know it helps me not focus on the bad stuff.

Debbie