The good news is you aren't broke, the fact that you could connect with the song is a sign of a soul that still lives and breaths and yearns. Just need to find a way to bring that out and sharing your story here is a start. I had never heard the song and I probably would have never found a new artist i like because you shared it. So in a way you made a difference in my life. Now just find a way to do allow that to happen in your life at home. You can do it, just BE your self like you can here. It's all about safety I think, and if you can;t feel safe around your friends and family then maybe you need to address that. You seem kind, intelligent and sincere to me, that translates well to relationships. Good luck.