Hello Exoticflower, don't post much here but I have caught a few of your threads. What I read and feel from your words now and other threads is that you are hurt. I think some part of you still ??loves??? him or has feelings for him if I can guess at that. You mention a spiritual connection so maybe that is it. It is hard to let go of someone who has hurt you and especially someone you had feelings for. Even if they have been abusive. The only thing I can say from personal experience is that it takes a conscious effort to let go. Engaging in the APA process might drag out the pain in some ways. NOT that it isn't a good thing to do in most cases but you might have to count the cost to yourself if you do that. Is it worth it. Also having this group of Ts talk to him, I don't know. What do you hope to accomplish? What is your goal? Put yourself first for a minute and ask yourself. WHAT it is that would make you, have totally 100% closure on this. If nothing you can think of would help, then you might have to work on letting go emotionally, despite what he has hurt you, maybe that is not the real issue here first. It's like a divorce in a sense. You are hurt, he did things badly but you still have feelings for him. How to ??divorce?? yourself from those feelings? It Takes time. With a clearer mind you can decide what to do. Not an easy process but one that is worth it in the end.