Quote:
Originally Posted by darkrunner
Zooropa,
I'm sorry it's so hard for you right now. 
I've never heard of a rule like that. I'm guessing it is so that client's don't start SI'ing as a way to gain more of T's attention?
Be kind to yourself, ok?
|
yes, that's exactly why they have that rule, and I understand it on an intellectual level, it's just that emotionally it HURTS.
Quote:
Originally Posted by TayQuincy
zooropa, why didn't you call your t before you did the SI? That is what you are supposed to do in DBT.
Also, it sounds like your t really cares a lot about you because even though she is adhering to the rules of DBT, she asks you to call exactly 24 hours later to talk to her. My T wouldn't do that, I know that for sure. I would have to wait until next session. Try not to see it as abandonment, but rather your T doing her best to help you NOT SI in the future. Next time the feelings are overwhelming and you can't remember what skills to use in the moment, call T!
|
thanks for that, Tay, I really needed to hear that it sounds like my T cares about me. I know she probably does, but yeah.
As far as what happened today, I didn't actually see what I did as SI (took some pills not prescribed for me so I could nap). But after I took them I felt really bad b/c I realized I shouldn't have done it (the pills not being mine=illicit drug use) and I started thinking 'just take them all, might as well just do it' etc and that's when I called T. I felt like I WAS calling her before I SI'ed.
But I can totally see how, if we had to make everything black and white, what I did would have to fall under the umbrella of "self harm". I'm not sure I agree with such black and white thinking in a therapy that is BASED on the concept of dialectics, but whatever. I will talk about that to T at my next session, maybe.
Quote:
Originally Posted by BlueMoon6
(((((Zoo)))) I want you to know you are loved and cared about here. Even if you SI you are so much more than how you feel about yourself.
I also really do NOT like that attitude toward me when I have SI'd. It gives me the feeling that the T thinks she has to put in place a rule so I dont manipulate her with it, but actually, it feels like *I* am being manipulated by a rule. To not give "attention" and re-inforce the behavior. I feel like I am being treated like a monkey in a psychology experiment. I never really said much to any T about that, because I felt like I would be seen as manipulative. You just cant win.
Can you tell her what you are feeling? Your fears and what you are going through and why you SId and then called her (when you talk to her tomorrow)?
|
thanks so much, Blue
I'm not sure that I've posted on this board about SI, but I do post over on that board sometimes, more often when I'm struggling. My usual way of SI is cutting so what happened today is different and I still don't really see drug use as a form of SI but it's something I'll have to talk to my T about.
I agree with what you said about DBT T's, I've seen that cold, toughness at times in my own T and certainly heard stories here and elsewhere about other Ts. I think it's different from a lot of therapies in that there are some very strict protocols for the Ts to follow? I know that my T is a very warm and compassionate person and I do feel like she cares about me even though she has never said so, but it can be hard when she's doing this "tough love" stuff.