Kitty, kitty, nothing is really pointless, it just may be that way at the present. You just have been through a really super stressfull chapter in your life, yeah husband's are not the most understanding people at times (most of the times). Have you found a new therapist you like yet? I'm in the process of looking for a new psych.doc. (I think) mine is nice but "nice" is not getting me where I feel I can be at this point in my life now that "all" has settled down (thank God, if there is one). It seems to me you have reached the "funk" region of things, and "lady" it may be hard to believe right now which I truly understand, but it will come to pass, yeah I know you have heard that before but it is true, like many, I've been there and I can attest for that. Kitty, you are a cool person, unfortunately life has thrown you a hard blow, it hurts, it sucks, but please just hang in there, continue with therapy, continue to talk with people (like us), don't lose touch with yourself, and it is not bad to feel sad, it is human and it is okay. You sound like the way I use to be, I use to put enormous pressure on myself thinking I had to be close to "perfect", afraid to dissappoint others, etc. I got out of that when I realized it was messing me up and robbing me of "true" happiness. I am sorry if I am rambling, may be I am not making ny sense to you. I just hope I have been able to offer you some insight, like many here I've seen the "abyss" and with struggle and times feeling there was no hope managed to pull through, keep your inner flame burning, maybe reignite it and with time you'll get back to where you want to be or very close to it, just takes time. . .
much hugs to you, girl
XXOO
"darkeyes"