You may have to look to government agencies for insurance. There is no shame in asking for help when you need it. Also look around for a mental health clinic that charges on an income scale. You sound like you have your head on your shoulders you just need a little balance. Good luck  .
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I have wandered the darkness, a place I call home, for a long time looking for peace, and there is peace even in here. I hope I can help you find your peace.
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