I find that many of my sessions are just dealing with here-and-now struggles....because I was going through one crisis after another....and occasionally, we'd dip into trauma stuff....although one could argue that my here-and-now stuff was trauma as well, just not past trauma.

One thing I noticed in my last session is that my T was able to take here-and-now situations and point out the similarities in my behavioral patterns from the past....my childhood, my marriage, how I deal with certain things in group....Wow.

It amazes me how so much of my "TODAY" is impacted by the "YESTERDAYS", if you know what I mean.

I sometimes wonder when we will be going into trauma work...but I almost never bring it up because I'm too fearful. Of course, my T has mentioned to me more than once that fear has been a primary motivator in my life - so I shouldn't be surprised.

I also have no idea what trauma work would entail in gestalt therapy. I know the "empty chair" technique - which I DON'T want to do - just feels too intimidating and embarrassing to me....I don't know of any others in gestalt, honestly.

Even with my T, who I really admire and feel is a great T, I still have trouble feeling close, being comfortable, letting my guard down, etc. But that's me. I have trouble doing that, ever. I've been with him for almost a year and have no idea how long it takes or what needs to happen to get that closeness to where I feel as though I can tell him anything. I wonder if that'll ever happen for me.

Sorry for rambling on during your post.....