I so understand where you are coming from. After years of therapy in my 20's, I suddenly was back to ground zero again at 44. I felt that I had traveled so far to only realize I had be walking through a dark labyrinth to end up right back where I had started from - going in an endless circle which led only to the pain I was trying to escape. And while I have again started on the path that I hope will lead to recovery - I still don't totally understand why I have been pushed back into the pain that I thought I had escaped but I know I there. I will prevail and hope the same for you!