Ok, I am trying to gain some reality.
I got off the phone about 30 minutes ago w/ my T.
I think she jolted me back into some kind of positive thinking...even if it is only temporarily.
She basically shouted that she cares about me, where I am and what I am doing. For the first time I think I honestly believed her as a person and not as a client of hers.
I think my heart is just so wounded that I cannot see past the mire to the serenity right outside the gate.
I know I have been all over the place..even just today in fact.
I don't mean to be. I am a processor and a sorter and I just need to keep sorting it all out.
I am still going to my appt tomorrow @ 9am. (Although I did try to get out of it by T not having that)
I know I cannot cop out. I know I have to be braver then that.
It is just sometimes not so easy to think that way.
Okay, enough of the rambling.