Quote:
Originally Posted by zooropa
I don't know what it's like for you guys, having a T that cares and is committed to being there with you throughout the process, but for me it's so hard to trust that. Every time she says something like that, I trust her a little more. And every time she picks up the phone when I call, or returns my call, or is just there in her office waiting for me, week after week, I trust a little more.
It IS scary, MUE. I've never had that in my life. But it is wonderful, too.
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(((((((((((zoo)))))))))))))) It took me two years to trust T, and I think it was because it was so scary to allow someone to take care of me...I was sure that he would figure out that I didn't "deserve" it and that it would just end...so I was always trying to end it first.
I think I've moved beyond that, and it does feel really healing to be in this relationship. Like you said, zoo, every time he treats me with care and kindness, a little part of me learns that maybe I DO deserve it.
I still get flashes of "OMG, I don't deserve this" but I try to believe, after all of this time of being SO consistent, that it's really real, and it's not going away.
I hope you have a peaceful, knitting-filled weekend, zoo
