Had an email exchange with the former colleague that used to work for me today. The great news is that I have nothing to worry about. He is not siding with the outsider as I had dreaded. We are going to have lunch in a couple of weeks. This is a good guy to have in my camp. He is a great guy and I am relieved that our relationship is still strong.

It's easy to catatrophize when the stakes are high but I am feeling good about how I am managing my emotions as I go through this process of restarting my business. I see a psychologist, which is hugely helpful. I have an incredible wife, who is super supportive and insightful. I have used this period of high stress to motivate to get into the gym, which is something that gives me great pleasure and a sense of accomplishment. Given that I am without a job, going to the gym practically every day is a way to bring some sense of structure into my life as well as a great way to work off the stress and anger. I have been writing in my journal more than ever and having PC as a place where I can share my worries and have so many wonderful people give me their support makes me feel like I am not alone - so thank you PC!
I am starting to see a bit of light at the end of the tunnel.
I am a fighter and I don't give up.