Now that I'm thinking about it, perhaps it is something I should address with my T....

The last time I was an absolute mess, crying at the drop of a dime, non-functional at work, etc. It was several days after my divorce, and I was in a bad, bad place, emotionally.

One thing after another was going wrong in my house...and then finally the freezer went, and all my frozen foods were destroyed - and I lost it. I was imagining being in a casket with my dad who passed away, missing him, etc. - immersed myself in depressing, angry music. I didn't know what was going on with me.

Finally, I reached out to T, and we talked through it....it took a while, but then he asked me how I was feeling the day before the freezer incident happened. I said, angry. He asked if I could say a little more. It was then that I shared that on the night of my divorce, a close friend of mine shared with me how my husband had been trying to get her to sleep with him, bought her a kinky outfit, put his hands up the back of her shirt, etc. while we were married.

I hadn't put two and two together that it affected me so much. I hadn't even thought of that AT ALL while I was in that bad, bad place.

So, perhaps if I talk this through with T, I might be able to figure it out. But I'm scared. I would rather be numb.