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Yoda · Jan 30, 2010, 10:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by salukigirl

So my BF pretty much told me to suck it up and eventually we will have guns in the house. I, personally, HATE guns. 2 of my friends and my great uncle have been murdered and I refuse to have one. I have had a gun pulled on me before for no reason and do not ever want one to enter my house. I understand hunting and "controlling the deer population"...whatever. They do not have to be in the house. I have heard too many stories about kids being curious and something terrible happening. But for some reason I'm just supposed to suck it up?!

Am I just overreacting? I feel like even having a gun increases your chances of something happening. Most people don't even know how to properly use or store them. And if someone breaks into your house while you're home I highly doubt you will be in a position to get your gun, take it out, load it and turn off the safety and actually do any good with it. And if its just there to make him feel safer...that's an awfully risky security blanket.

How do I not have a say in what enters my own house? If we have kids together there is absolutely no way I would ever allow a gun anywhere near my kids. I don't even really see a compromise here. But I feel like I have every right to put my foot down and say No!

Quote:

Originally Posted by salukigirl

I just think the safest thing is to lock yourself in a room like the bathroom with your cell phone and call 911. I don't feel the need to play hero.

Maybe if I go to him and say "what if an intruder came in while we were home? do you think you would have the nerve (being calm) and the time to actually go get the gun? if its stored in the house it needs to be locked up, on safety and unloaded. you really think you would be able to unlock the case, turn off the safety AND load the gun before this guy trashes the house or does something else?" or "why wouldn't a security system that notifies the police be just as good if not better?"

I think some of it is him having to "prove" his manliness because he is kind of insecure in some ways. But personally, I would feel LESS safe with a gun in the house rather than more safe.

I might ask him about having a gun case in case he ever wants to bring the rifle home (it is in storage now). I just don't want them around me.

Thanks everyone for your suggestions.

Salukigirl, I respect your thoughts and feelings and am sorry that this is a source of conflict between you and your boyfriend. I am not posting to change your opinion or anybody elses. I don't think there is a "right" or "wrong"; it isn't that simple. I would like to respond though if you don't mind.

I am sorry that your friends and uncle were killed by gunfire. That surely must affect how you feel about guns. You asked in your first post if you are overreacting - I don't think you are. That seems rather rude that your BF is telling you to "suck it up" because you have no say in the matter. In my eyes this thread is more about communication and conflict in your relationship rather than guns per se. I think. Maybe. What do you think? I agree that you have every right to say what is acceptable in your household.

A problem that you point out is that too many people do not know how to safely handle guns or how to store them. I agree 100%. I don't believe in shooting "accidents" but rather being irresponsible with guns can only precede problems. Owning a gun, however, DOES MAKE YOU MORE responsible for YOUR OWN actions. People who aren't prepared for that should not own them, period.

Just because you have a weapon--any weapon--in the house doesn't mean you aren't responsible for your children. When my son was young we taught him guns are not toys (neither are steak knives) and that when he was old enough, mommy and/or daddy will teach them how to properly handle the weapon. Having weapons in the house means EXTRA RESPONSIBILITY.

Don't be fooled into believing that just because you own a gun that would know exactly how and when to use it. FACT: lots of homeowners have been shot by their own weapon because they 1. never took the time to learn how to be properly prepared and 2. they just thought waving the gun in the face of the prowler would actually accomplish something. Only on TV does that work.

I feel that people shouldn't even own a weapon until they have taken the time to properly learn how to use it. If you can't afford the $35 for a class then you are more a danger to yourself and others than you think you are. ("You" means anyone in general, not anyone specific.)

Why wouldn't a security system be as good or better, you ask. I live in a rural area but there is a sheriff detachment just four miles from my house. A few years ago I came back from vacation and thought I had disarmed the security alarm before it had time to call. One hour later two officers came to my house. Another time when I lived in the city I heard somebody break down a door and enter my house. I was upstairs. I called 911 and asked for help. Then I sat and waited holding my gun in case the prowler came up the stairs. A trash truck stopped beside my house and it spooked the intruder and he/she left. It took forever for the cops to show up; they said they got lost. I still use my security system but it has limitations. Having dogs is a deterrent to some but thieves broke into my house three different times when I had a German shepherd.

Having a gun (or not) is a personal choice. I hope I will never need it (again) but I have it just in case I do. I like the analogy, I don't expect my house to catch on fire but I have a fire extinguisher.