Quote:
Originally Posted by Ascension
I am sorry to hear you( and by proxy your husband/family) is bearing the brunt of a person in throws of cycling. I know it's not easy to deal with those of us who are bipolar and are in an unbalanced state. It sounds to me that she is dpending on you too heavily as her only support. I would like to ask you to consider National Alliance for Mentalhealth Issues(NAMI as it is commonly referred to as). It has resources for people with loved ones that suffer from mental health issues. I am glad that your friend has you as a support. But she needs to learn to develop INTERNAL coping skills. She is too dependent on you to get healthy herself. She feels like you are her sense of sanity and she needs to learn to be more self sufficient.
Disclaimer here - I am not diagnosing. I don't know her or her situation well enough but you may want to Borderline Personality Disorder ( ). Again I am not a doctor and I am not saying it to be the case but it may be something to take a look at because of her extreme swing in intimacy levels. Even if she isn't, understanding abandonment issues may help you deal with her better, because she has developed a very strong bond with you and has lost most of the others in her life. I hope this helps. This could use be a form of PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder from years of hurting and being dependent and all the chaos that ensues because of it). Good luck and I hope you, your family and friend all find some peace in all of this.
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You are right, I think it is BPD... I've been reading about BP and it seems
mild compared to her behavior. Meaning that from what I am reading
people with BP don't have nearly as many episodes as she has.
I only know that a Dr. actually diagnosed her as BP but I think it is beyond that. I found this as red flags for BPD
Other big red flags:
-- only trusts you (perhaps 1 other person)
-- claims to be unable to live without you
-- overly idealizes romance & is intense about it
-- has wanted more than anything to be married
-- mentions marriage/cohabitation early in a relationship
-- claims you're soulmates, fated to be together, etc.
-- angst & ways of handling things seem teen-like
-- seems like their life will fall apart without you (it's not true, trust me, they do land on their feet despite the threats)
I can check off all of those for her... she tries to talk every guy she has dated into marrying her...moved in with this last guy after a week and they decided to get married after being together for a month.
Is tough love the way to go? Should I tell her we can continue to be
friends but only if she agrees to get real help (I don't believe she
sees a Dr. regularly)
Also what makes me think that you are right is that I've relaized she
took a turn for the worse when we told her we are moving to another
state. I think she is freaking out because she doesn't even have family
here. I'm it. But I just don't have the energy anymore...she has drained me. I guess it is some what my fault that I've allowed her to depend on
me so much.... I just have allot of fear in dealing with her right now because I know any kind of tough love will bring on another episode
and I've told her she needs to get help before (she was stalking her ex)
and she blew up. I just know she won't take it well...
Thank you for the advice I am going to look into NAMI