MA, you can use the gradual approach with therapy. You don't have to go the first day and spill everything. You can go and gradually get used to the therapist before you disclose anything. You can say I don't want to share right now. It sounds like you are afraid that a therapist will try to take your SI away from you. You can find a therapist who won't do this. I also possibly hear that you don't want to be forced into anything? I don't blame you. Our lack of empowerment is part of the problem. Any good therapist will help you to build empowerment and will not try to tell you what to do, etc. Getting better is a journey. You can do this.......