Please read this and tell me what to do because I am lost...
My girlfriend has Borderline Personality Disorder... She is only 16 but the most mature person I have ever met...
When she was 14 she was admitted in a mental institution for a year.
She tried to commit suicide 4 times -twice by hanging, once by laying on the high way and once by drinking acid... She used to burn herself with cigarettes... she has scars all over the palms of her hands...
She got out of the hospital a year ago and she's still very depressed...Only she is used to repression of her feelings and she never opens up to anyone... she wears a mask that everything is ok and makes everyone believe it... But i know her and I know nothing is ok.
Recently she's opened up to me and told me she feels like a zombie like she's dead inside... and that she still cuts herself sometimes - coz it's her therapy... She is on medication and she has a psychiatrist but it doesn't really help and she has panic attacks... And she refuses to see a psychologist... She has had 7 psychologists since she was 12 only one she trusted - the one in the hospital but she got disappointed in them all and she refuses to see another one...
She tells me she wants to die... She says she feels broken inside...
I am always trying to speak to her and to let her know i am there for her and that i love her and support her... but she closes up- like a shell - each time she opens up i try to reach in and she closes up again...
It's so hard...
This week it's been especially hard - we have barely even spoken on the phone and we live kind of far so we couldn't see each other all week... and she doesn't answer my calls and she sends me text messages that I should move on and leave her and that I am so much better off coz in the end I will only get hurt...
She sends me text messages with lines from Pink Floyd, from The Wall... like "Goodbye cruel world, I'm leaving you today" and "Crazy, over the rainbow, I am crazy, cars in my window..."
And I know that she cries for help !!! And I want to help her and I am always there for her... I tell her I love her every second i can and that I am there for her always no matter what ... she only answers with cold short answers like "yes" "no" ... i asked her if she knows i love her (she always used to tell me "i know" whenever i told her i loved her... this time she said " I don't know anything anymore, i feel i have nothing left to give to you..."
I feel on the one hand she is crying for help from me - I’m the only person she told all this too... And last week she had a huge panic attack at night... I was there... we didn't sleep almost all night long - she was shaking and almost screaming out of pain and i tried to hug her and i talked calmly and tried to calm her down but she pushed me she wouldn't let me touch her... she said it hurts when i do... it passed when i read her a book her dad reads to her when she feels sad... it calmed her down and it passed... but since that panic attack her condition got a lot worse... she's a lot more depressed... she's so closed up... it's like she has actually built a wall - just like in the movie...(which by the way is her favorite movie of all time)...
I know she loves me and I love her too... we have a really special relationship... we fell in love on the first day we met...and she cries for help but when i try she won't let me help her she closes up again...

Please tell me what to do? I feel like she is slipping right between my fingers and i am losing her... And I don't know how to stop it...
Her parents can't convince her to see a psychologist, if i ever mention it she closes up even more and she stops even telling me she feels bad... her parents know she is depressed and I think they are kind of lost as well...

I really need help... it's killing me ... I can't lose her... I jus can't...

Thank you..

Alex