Hi, all.

I'm new to this whole thing...I mean, I've never sought any kind of treatment whatsoever. I know I have depression. I've taken quizzes and all that (not that I really needed to) but haven't seen a doctor or anything. I've been kind of dreading that. I had a platonic female friend who tried all kinds of treatments and it nothing ever took with her. I had to stop being her friend because she got too out of control and that's what's fueling my fear of going to see someone. I don't have a "family" doctor so it's not like I can ask them for a referral or anything like that (but I can afford one)

You know, being a guy (and not a teen) it's tough to find some answers because a lot of the advise is geared toward women (no offense) or to guys who have a wife and/or kids. I feel like I didn't learn some vital lesson earlier in life and now I don't really know how to deal...and I know it's kind of silly to feel like I'm under some kind of pressure when I know there isn't any or not much.

Another thing I don't want is a pity party. The last thing I want is for people I know to feel sorry for me. That's another thing I worry about with regards to getting some help. I'm going to have to ask people to help me and I don't want my friends and relatives to pity me because I can't handle myself.

To put it bluntly, it sucks. I see other people around me taking joy from just normal everyday things. Getting motivated and all that...but I'm stuck.

I was hoping some of you could try to point me in the right direction.