i've had relationships with women in the past..usually we are friends and then gradually through mutual attraction we become a couple & feelings, love develop..sex was also great in my last relationship..which was back in the early 90's..im now 43..before that relationship & since then i've basically had many very safe, but anonomous sexual hookups with men i meet online..i consider myself 'bisexual' because in my mind that seems more acceptable to me than labelling myself 'gay'..although im not able to tell people about my bisexuality..i'm very afraid of 'coming out' and being labled 'gay' or 'bisexual' to friends & family..so i continue to live a lie and have even dated a girl very recently from an online dating site..i really like her, but cant really see anything developing and there is no real sexual attraction..at least not after 3 dates..so have not persued it for fear i should not start something i cannot finish..on the other hand, im not even sure if i want a 'relationship' with a man, other than to satisfy my sexual desires..that's why im still single..i would like to have a regular, discreet friend/buddy/sex partner but that seems hard to find, although i'm seeing a married guy once in awhile for mutual relations..always safe. is there a need to come 'out' to close friends and family, will that solve anything? im sure they wonder why im still single but i feel very strongly about keeping my sexuality to myself and the ones im involved with..i have very strong feelings of guilt and shame when i think about actually 'coming out' and would not want to be thought of as a 'pervert' because im not in a long term 'straight' relationship..so i feel very out of place with family and friends who are married or in committed relationships with kids, etc..because i'm not..

any advise?

any ideas or suggestions would be greatly appreciated?