I feel like I push ppl out of my life. I don't know if its on purpose though. Like if I blow up at someone I say I'm sorry and try not to do it again but when I'm irritable it is so hard to controll. I'm working on it. And when I'm down all my insecurities show and a lot of people don't like "weak" women. I've heard the "where is the strong woman I fell in love with" but when you are down I don't know how to stop it. So yes. I feel like I push and push. So far only a few have stuck around and none are lovers just friends and family.