First of all, let me say that I am posting this as if I was answering myself because I do not want to address anyone in particular... just everybody that has contributed or has watched this thread.

Second, I am very aware that my words, spoken as well as written, come across as harsh. I've given the matter quite a bit of thought because I've been told that for quite a while. I've read and re-read what I have written and for the life of me, I can't figure it out. Perhaps, to me, it's the lack of emotion that I sometimes write with that comes across as harshness and/or anger. I've even been told that I am self-righteous in my writing. Personally, I don't see it as such. The way I interpret that is that I know my limits and I know my boundaries. I defend them; sometimes very strongly.

In my understanding, this tread started with the intention of figuring out some of the limitations that we are aware of that keep us from being whole human beings, whole persons. I understood that in the process, we would encounter "buttons," things that would spark painful memories and emotions. It was never meant to purposely cause those emotions or memories, to purposely put blame on another or to make judgements of another.

When I have made suggestions or posted something that helped me tremendously in understanding why I act in certain ways or why I respond in those ways, I did it strictly as something to be considered with an open mind, not as a cause of pain for another nor something to be an item of contentiousness, much less a tool to attack me with.

Through all of this, I, like some others that have contributed, have made mistakes. What's new? None of us are perfect and I think, that for the most part, we all admit it. In my estimation, there was only one time that I actively "attacked" someone because there have been past issues between us. However, I did not betray any confidences as I was accused. I am always very conscious of not doing that. I and another person PMed about this person contributing to this thread. I explained that I could not work with this person because as I had felt before, it was a roller coaster ride that I had already been on and didn't care to get back on it again. I didn't feel that the thread would continue to move forward but in the end, I gave in to that person against my better judgment. After all, this thread was meant to "stretch" us as persons. I failed miserably in that endeavor but contrary to what some people want to stubbornly think, I am not in pain about it.

I feel that I have been completely honest in my postings yet I am not believed for whatever reason. Perhaps these people can't or won't but as far as I am concerned, it is because of their own issues, not mine. I don't appreciate being told how I feel. My feelings are my own and I've learned to recognize them, identify them and do not project them on others.

(I'm thinking that right about now some readers are feeling that I am beginning to get angry again. I'm not angry... but perhaps I'm slamming down the protective shield where that particular boundary is. Would you call that "defensive"? Maybe. I'm still a work in progress... besides, I don't think defending one's boundaries is all that bad... in fact, it's a good thing. Perhaps I could learn the term "Strong but gentle.")

I'm terribly sorry that this thread did not end how it had been hoped it would. Maybe expectations were set too high. Too much faith was placed on people that are not trained in the art of productive confrontation or fair fighting. I, for one, am guilty of that. It was a learning experience nonetheless. However, I am sorry that people were hurt in many ways.

<font color=blue>Don't die with your music still inside you.</font color=blue>