Hi derp, nice to meet you. I am Allen279. I am middleaged so it has been a long time since I was in school but I can relate to a lot of what you are going through, such as fantasies and staying isolated. I never had a girlfriend until I was 26. So don't feel bad in any way about that. I have a suggestion for you. Put the White Light around your whole body, it is the Light of the Universe. Imagine it with your mind and it will be there. Talk to the White Light with your mind and see if it helps you. Let me know? Peace.