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lynn P. · Feb 04, 2010, 10:08 AM

Hi Justlost,
I agree this is devastating news to find out about your father. I know it would have been better to find out from your mother, but I think she was struggling with a tough decision. It's very difficult to tell your child that her father did the unthinkable. She was faced with a lose/lose situation and I'm sure she agonized over her decision many times. I wonder what made her want to be involved with him??

You ask very reasonable questions. I think you should look into his back ground - he obviously had anger problems - was he a psychopath? Is there a genetic component? Where is your father now?

I think you really need a therapist to talk to. I think you're justified in feeling blindsided by these realizations and you need time to digest all of this. You also need to find answers to your important questions. I don't think you should feel guilty for your fathers deeds. You also don't want to let this consume you, but you also don't want to sweep your feelings(suck it up) under the carpet. Please find a good therapist to help you and you'll find alot of support and understanding here. PC can be like your own personal journal and there always someone who'll listen.