Hello & Welcome, Justlost!
Wow.
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Originally Posted by justlost
I don't know, how I should feel.
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Personal Opinion: With feelings, there is no "should". They come and we just have do the best we can reacting to and channeling them.
Quote:
Originally Posted by justlost
I went to see a psychiatrist who said I have control issues caused by trauma and that traumatic events around me as a baby while my brain was still developing means I cannot deal with stress the way a functioning adult should.
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I'm inclined to believe infants' minds are exceptionally active. They record memories in their own way even before language is learned; those memories are no less real and powerful just because they weren't encoded in adult terms.
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Originally Posted by justlost
I feel like if I have children now I may be passing on defective genes.
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You've learned quite a bit about your biological father. Have you gone beyond the above details to get a picture of his childhood and upbringing? What of his parents?
Edit: The above posts say it all better. Try not to be afraid to seek help.
__________________
My dog
mastered the "fetch" command. He would communicate he wanted something, and I would fetch it.