Hi, justlost. I'm so sorry you're having to struggle with this horrendous news. Sounds like some of what you are going through is just plain/painful shock! I don't think there's any place in your scheme of self for what you discovered.

Genes rarely cause behavior 100% and any children of yours would only have 1/4 your father's genes too. Remember how well you have come out :-) and you are half your father. I think like the psychiatrist said, a lot of your problems came from your actual experience with your father when you were so young. My mother was had a brain tumor from two years before I was born and died when I was 3; I have various "quirks" from that experience and being in utero when she was ill. But, as I think you've seen, one can, to a certain extent "get over it" and move on.

I highly recommend seeing a therapist, that is what has most helped me. I hope the painful surprise of your discovery blunts some too soon so you can work with it, see what's "actually" there and what/if anything can be done.