((((justlost))))

Thank you for sharing with us. That took a lot of courage and I am honored that you were able to share this with all of us. I am sorry that you have lived through this and I validate what you are feeling. I am glad you joined us here at PC and I hope you find many friends and lots of support and encouragement here. It is here, for I have received so much from so many wonderful caring people. So welcome to PC.

I do hear what you are saying. Please try to get into therapy for you deserve to get help and to be heard. They are skilled to help us get what we need to get out and to feel what we need to feel. You are taking steps to get there. This was one of the biggest steps and I am proud of you for this.

I can understand how you feel in so many ways. For me, I split off many times to be able to live. It is not easy finding out things and it is not something we can understand. So many times there are no reasons or understanding. The hurt and fear you are feeling is normal. The lost feelings you have are normal. And you are important and it was not your fault. We many times need help to try to unravel the past. You are not a burden.

Please try not to tell yourself to just get over it. That is not the case. For so many years I was told the same thing and if we could just get over it we would. But it hurts and it affects us in many ways. You will get over it when you have dealt with it and get out all those feelings within that have a right to be heard and listened to. You have a right to be heard and listened to.

I know the feeling of wondering about having children and passing things along, but you can change that and be the one who breaks that mold and starts over. For I did and I did not hurt my children. Things will get easier as you work through them and then you will be able to move forward knowing all could be well in your future.

Thank you again for posting. Please keep reaching out and sharing. Try to get to therapy if you can. Know that we are here listening and reaching back with open arms. You are not alone. You can PM me if you would like to talk or just need someone to listen. Sending gentle hugs and loving thoughts.

dps