Dara,
I'm walking in your shoes too. It's a rollercoaster, the binging, the purging, the low self image, the trying to diet but can't make it through breakfast any given day. I have no willpower to lose weight. I love to eat and love food period, I love all the bad stuff and will not constrict myself at all. An ED and having a life where food is the total comfort sucks. I have a very large plateful of stress in our lives currently, and I just cannot stick to anything. I am 5.3 and weigh 238Ibs. Obese, my belly hangs over and is disgusting, I wear size 22 clothes, I know people stare at my weight and comment when in public places. but at the same time I don't have the drive or willpower to change my eating habits, I even have 3 young boys that I should be losing the weight for and I'm not. I had a surgery that was botched by the doctor in the OR, and suffered with mentally disabling conditions afterwards, I'm on depression meds and sleep meds and I've gained 40 Ibs since the surgery 3 years ago. I just feel so fat and unhealthy. Even my 6 year old comments on my bum and belly being so large. how do you try and motivate?