Sister, you can do anything you set your mind to do. You would probably benefit from going into some T, and posting here on PC to get your feelings out there and lean on the support of those going through it. I've had the purging for over 20 years, it seems to never completely go away and raises its ugly head when there is mega stress in my life, first you need to get some help to support you so that you are not all alone in this. Do you have parents or a BF that you can share this with? I hope so.