I first want to say that I am sometimes ashamed of the human species. To run you off from other self support sites because you have trusted others with honesty and sincerity makes me more then angry. Secondly, many of us can relate to behaviors that we wonder are healthy or not, and whether it is something we should embrace or change and fear of others condemning us for one reason or another. I hope you get a bit of confidence in sharing who you are, what your concerns are and how to address them through communicating. The downside is not everyone understands every individual concern so there is always a risk of someone hurting you. I don't see anything irreprehensible or wrong about what you do.

I hope you follow through with getting someone to help you delve a little deeper into how to learn to accept what you do and how to share that with trusted loved ones. Or, if YOU decide, this is something you would like change get leverage to do that. Ultimately, I hope you come to terms, with the real you. I know it isn't easy to feel good about your personal choices because others don't understand it but I hope you find a way to be the you who you are meant to be and do it on your terms.