i will be honest with you from a woman's point of view, granted. in your post about you AND your wife, i hear alot of "I" statments.

i do hear concern for your wife, but the concern seems to be about how it relates to you and your life, time frames and feelings.

you may be ready for her to have this over and to feel better. however, she's getting ready to undergo a possibly life changing surgery and needs to do this in HER time...not yours and not the dr's.

if my husband had done what you did, i would have been livid. my husband never takes my personal issues and makes them his business like that. on the other hand, i sometimes wish that my husband would show more interest in my business.

i guess what i'm saying is...hear her right now...don't just listen to her words, but HEAR her and then act on those requests. she must be feeling all kinds of things that she may not even have words to express. also, give her the space she needs to feel them.

i can see where you want to help so much. how admirable! that's awesome! i think wife needs you to be there for her, though, in a different way. ask her just how you can be a comfort to her right now? you sound like you're trying so hard. that's great!

gl! let us know!

kd