I totally understand this! I was 17 before I was able to fully reach out to anyone for help. It's a HUGE first step, and it's scary as hell, but if you just take the plunge and do it quick, it makes things a lot easier. It's like jumping into a cold swimming pool: sometimes you just have to dive in and then let your body adjust to the cold. It's tough, but it's so worth it in the end.

I wish you the most luck in your journey for help.