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My depression is getting worse and worse by the day, and that hospital visit unfortunately made it so much worse by taking away the ability for me to speak with friends/family or see a doctor. How can I get help??? How can I get over this phobia of doctors/hospitals??? I need help so badly but just "sucking it up" and seeing someone despite my fear is not something I am capable of doing.
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You have posed quite a conundrum. Do you have a general practitioner? If so, would you be willing to ask the GP to refer you to a reputable psychiatrist with the understanding you would like the initial contact to be by phone?
You must be willing to be open and forthright about what your problems are. To hold back betrays the reason for seeking help. Nonetheless, you would also be able to explain your concerns and see what assurances may be agreed upon.
I assume eventually you will have to meet the psychiatrist for the evaluation. I would ask if your mother or a friend could accompany you to help you through this.
Of course, if the phone interview does not assuage you, you may have to try someone else. What is important here is you know you need help. What you are now doing is not working. The idea is to find a way for you to get help. I hope you soon come to agree that one bad experience does not mean all will be.
Good luck.