I have also pushed people away...I truly have no friends and other than my boyfriend.and my daughter....I am only in contact with my mother and sister..Right now I am trying to save my relationship with my boyfreind...It has been 3 years...I am ok for awhile...then my insecurities kick in...I accuse him of cheating...blow up at him...try to push him away....he has been awesome for sticking with me for so long...but he has had his feel...He does not understand what it is to be bipolar and doesn't know that I just can't control it..It is a daily struggle to try to keep those thoughts out of my head and keep control.