bonaire, i just like you. i really do. when you ask for opinion, you accept it without judgment or futher trying to "justify" your perspective with defensiveness. we're going to get along famously. i already feel you're an added benefit to PC, and hope you stick around.

ok...to add comment:

you brought about a VERY good point...your wife leaving you guessing about what she needs because she's not clear. if it were me, t (also male and points out the differences psychologically and biologically between the sexes) would tell me...kim, you need to figure out what it is that you think you need and be clear and direct about it. for so many years, i would get hurt and ticked by/at spouse and family for not hearing me...thing is i felt that i shouldn't have to ask and that hurt me further. the fact is, not many can read minds. a very valid point that you brought up.

your wife may not know yet what really is upsetting her right now. how about you gently telling her that you can only imagine her worry, thoughts and upset about this and ask if she can put it into words for you. until she knows exactly what she's feeling, she can't direct you on helping her.

let us know?

kd