Hi troubledmind21,
I agree with Stranger2. By the way you worded things, I would say that you do have some guilt and shame of your "cheating" behavior. The guilt and shame that you feel comes from within ~ you.
From experience, I can tell you that the only way those emotions go away is to deal with them. They cannot be hidden from yourself, as they are a part of you. I'd therefore recommend that you stop the online sexual relationships. Maybe that's all you need to rid yourself of the shame. But, you may need to sit and talk with your boyfriend openly and honestly. Perhaps you need to go further and get professional help to work through unhealthy sexual addictions.
Only you know what you truly need and desire. Listen to that part of your mind. Be honest with yourself. See where that takes you. Best wishes to you!
__________________
"Only in the darkness can you see the stars."
- Martin Luther King Jr.
"Forgive others not because they deserve forgiveness but because you deserve peace."
- Author Unkown
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