Hi again, I have been off the site for a while as was dealing with what I needed to face and also did not have the net accessible.

I wonder how you are. I hope you will see this post.

I sensed that you want to talk. You want to heal. And that is so great!!

You know, that pain that we feel inside - as long as we keep it inside - can do some real monsterous things to us. It grows like an animal and gets out of control. It stays and blames and makes us feel like we are not worth anything different. The secret is - that once we let it out - its out! Its not inside us anymore and we open some space for healing, for positive change, for being good to ourselves.

I urge you to let that pain out. In writing. To a therapist. To a friend. On this site. In a poem. However way you most feel comfortable. Release it. It is so difficult and limiting to keep it all in.

One more thing - you are not evil!! You sound like a sensitive and thooughtful person to me. I am sorry you feel so bad that this is how you think. Please be good to yourself. I am looking forward to hearing from you x