first off...welcome

second off...ya know..in the realm of things...ya could be dealing with a lot worse things...so i think in a way you are in a not so bad spot. it's not harming anyone else..or really even you...(say in the manner of drugs or alcohol)..you're aware of it, want to work on it...hey good for you.

honestly a little pampering sounds nice...can't say i would mind that...geez...it a dark snowy night a little tender lovin' care from someone would be a good thing..especially a single adult...coming from an abusive childhood..sometimes you yearn for that nice safe touch..so i can understand your desire ...sort of...

as to why...hey i can't figure out my own issues...and then i have to work on world peace and the cure for the common cold..but then ..i promise..you are on the list.

good luck...i hope you find what you are looking for

stumpy