Some of you may have read that the therapy group I'm in 3 full days a week has to close at the end of March. And that I've been finding this very difficult, so much so that I ended up cutting badly last night for the first time in 10 months. (posted about this on the SI forum)

Anyway on Thursday I asked S (the manager of the TC) what were the realistic options after March. Although things are still not set in stone, there should be a mentalization group, there are outpatient psychotherapy groups and there is also the option of individual psychotherapy. When I started at TC, the first six months is a one day a week programme, in the second half of this we did 12 weeks of mentalization group therapy or MBT. I found this really helpful, so I think thats one of the things I would like to do more of. I would also like to do more group psychotherapy and individual psychotherapy. I feel a bit better in myself now that I know more of whats available, and a bit more about what I want from my treatment. In an ideal world, I would want to keep the TC and have the chance to finish in the way I've seen others do, but this isn't an option anymore. I'm still sad about it, and even though I did cut last night I feel a slight shift within myself. I do have fears about starting in new groups and who the other patients and therapists will be, but I had the same fears when I started TC and I managed and feel very safe there.

I'm not looking forward to saying goodbye to people, but this is another challenge for me that I will manage, I can allow myself to be upset, and allow myself to learn from it.

I'm still scared but I know Ill be ok